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Hollyoaks star Joe Tracini says the 'world changing' has made living with BPD harder

Mental health: Hollyoaks star Joe Tracini has spoken candidly about how the 'change of the world' amid the Covid-19 pandemic has made living with borderline personality disorder 'more difficult'

Hollyoaks star Joe Tracini has explained how the Covid-19 pandemic has made living with borderline personality disorder “harder to find reasons to stay alive”.

The actor, 34, appeared on Lorraine on Thursday to talk about his new memoir, Ten Things I Hate About Me, which sees him explain how he lives with suicidal thoughts.

Joe has previously opened up about being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) after nearly committing suicide and years of battling drug addiction.

Mental health: Hollyoaks star Joe Tracini has spoken candidly about how the 'change of the world' amid the Covid-19 pandemic has made living with borderline personality disorder 'more difficult'

Mental health: Hollyoaks star Joe Tracini has spoken candidly about how the ‘change of the world’ amid the Covid-19 pandemic has made living with borderline personality disorder ‘more difficult’

Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that affects a person’s ability to regulate their emotions and can increase impulsivity and affect the way a person feels.

Appearing on the ITV chat show, he told host Lorraine Kelly how the ‘change in the world’ had made it harder for him to ‘find reasons to stay alive every day’ as he spoke about have suicidal thoughts.

Joe coped with the Covid-19 lockdown by sharing funny videos online, including some of himself dancing, to uplift the nation, but also spoke about his struggles during the pandemic.

Speaking about his mental health, he explained: “Every time I thought about killing myself, it always stopped. It sometimes lasts three weeks in a row, but it always stops.

Struggles: Joe, who is best known for his role as Dennis Savage on Hollyoaks, appeared on Lorraine on Thursday to talk about his new memoir, Ten Things I Hate About Me

Struggles: Joe, who is best known for his role as Dennis Savage on Hollyoaks, appeared on Lorraine on Thursday to talk about his new memoir, Ten Things I Hate About Me

“But it’s harder now, I felt like that before the world turned around, so now that the world has changed, it’s much harder to find reasons to stay alive every day.”

The star said he spent four months during the Covid-19 pandemic with girlfriend Holly and her family after visiting just before the first lockdown was imposed.

Joe, who is best known for his role as Dennis Savage on Hollyoaks, candidly said his brain “doesn’t like it” when reflecting on how it handles negative thoughts.

Joe continued, “I do it as a conversation, I don’t argue, I have a series of thoughts and they’re all mine.

Covid: Appearing on the ITV chat show, he told host Lorraine Kelly how the 'change in the world' had made it harder for him to 'find reasons to stay alive every day'

Covid: Appearing on the ITV chat show, he told host Lorraine Kelly how the ‘change in the world’ had made it harder for him to ‘find reasons to stay alive every day’

WHAT IS BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER?

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) – also known as Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) – is a disorder of mood and the way a person interacts with others. It is the most commonly recognized personality disorder.

In general, a person with a personality disorder differs significantly from an average person in how they think, perceive, feel, or relate to others.

Because some people with severe borderline personality disorder have brief psychotic episodes, experts originally thought the condition was an atypical or borderline version of other mental disorders.

While mental health experts generally agree that the name “borderline personality disorder” is misleading, a more precise term does not yet exist.

People with this disorder also have high rates of co-occurring disorders, such as depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and eating disorders, as well as self-harm, suicidal behaviors, and completed suicides.

SOURCE: ENM

“Ten percent of me is boring and normal and enjoys my own company, but 90 percent of me can’t stand it. I thought if I could separate the thoughts, maybe I would have a chance not to choose when I die.

Joe said he dealt with his negative thoughts by no longer treating them as “news” because he said he would feel discouraged if he woke up every morning feeling the same.

“I stopped treating the fact that I don’t love myself like news. Every day I thought I was hoping to feel better, then I woke up and didn’t feel better,” he said. he declares.

“It’s a shame, it would be nice to be a fan of mine but I’m not. I stop spending time being shocked that my brain doesn’t like me.

Joe also said he found it difficult to follow the advice of mental health professionals not to be alone because he spent a lot of time alone.

He said: “I can only kill myself if I’m alone, and most of the time I’m alone. That’s what I struggle with, because I’m often alone.

“I’m still struggling with this weather, the longer I can wait between every horrible thought the better off I’ll be in the end.”

The TV star said he struggled to take in the positive feedback from those around him as his brain convinced him those close to him “hated him”.

“I’m the only one who doesn’t like myself, I’m the only one who doesn’t want me to be here anymore,” he explained.

“I try to accept when they say they don’t hate me, because I know when I leave my brain is going to say ‘well they hate me’. But I know that’s not the case.

Speaking about his book Ten Things I Hate About Me, Joe said that while he hopes people find it useful, he said he can only focus on “saving” his own life.

Personality Disorder: Joe said he dealt with his negative thoughts by no longer treating them as

Personality Disorder: Joe said he dealt with his negative thoughts by no longer treating them as “news”, as he said he would feel discouraged if he woke up feeling the same.

“When people write books they talk about helping a person, but I can only focus on my life, that’s the only life I have to save,” he added.

It’s not the first time Joe has spoken about living with borderline personality disorder, as he admitted his brain ‘kept’ him from telling him to ‘kill himself’ during lockdown in a previous interview.

In April 2020 Joe appeared on Good Morning Britain discuss his mental health battle and how he coped lock by sharing funny videos online.

Asked by host Lorraine Kelly about his current mood, Joe replied, “It depends on what day you catch me.

Comedian: Joe coped with the Covid-19 lockdown by sharing funny videos online, including some of him dancing, to uplift the nation

Comedian: Joe coped with the Covid-19 lockdown by sharing funny videos online, including some of him dancing, to uplift the nation

“I have a high end personality disorder. On Tuesday my brain kept telling me to kill myself, but I waited.

‘I enjoy making you laugh, all I can do is wait. I can’t change how I feel or how I think.

“If I hang around, however, how I feel changes. I stopped watching the news (I’m not disrespecting you [Lorraine])!’

Joe revealed that although his girlfriend Holly has been fantastically supportive, he has found it easier to deal with the current lockdown situation as he is used to isolating himself from the world.

He explained, “If I feel negative, I don’t help feeling negative. It’s not going anywhere. If I feel something, it will eventually change.

“Having Holly helps, but I’ve been isolating myself since 1994. It’s good for me, but I’m always thinking about people who don’t have anyone.”

Speaking directly to viewers who may be suffering from mental illness, he said: “If you’re someone like me, don’t kill yourself, the world needs you.”

If you have been touched by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org.

Candid: Joe has previously opened up about being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) after nearly committing suicide and years of battling drug addiction

Candid: Joe has previously opened up about being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) after nearly committing suicide and years of battling drug addiction

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